Dota2, The reason for Global Warming

This will probably be my last blog entry because the government is going to arrest me soon after the publication of this document (#Edwad Snoweden).

Dota used by american politics for centuries?!

I will now enlighten your world and finally bring up the truth: Dota2 is probably part of a plan from an conservative party in the US government to make people emotionally blunted when it comes to decision about the environment. Although several newspapers have already reported about it, none of them were able to see the obvious link to the video game section. By spreading the culture of dota 2 across all continents, the conservatives are able to desensitize people about Global warming.

The reason to choose a moba game for such interests is evident: the aggressive&hatefull community is extremely welcoming to such destructive influences. As a result of their manipulation the so called Global Warming denial movement has been able to find more and more followers. This movement agrees with the ideas of those conservative politicians and therefore strenghen their political influence and power.

Stalin, Grandfather of Dota ?

Originally the top-secret project dota2 was started in 1943 by Stalin&Mao Zedong under the Codename Dota (shortform for “Destruction of all oaks”). The two communist leaders wanted to use the unsecure and angry people on the way to communsim world dominance. However the idea behind this strategy has unfortunatelly been picked up by some radical american politics and bankers recently. They try to use Dota2, which now is referred to as defense of the ancients in public, for their own egoistic goals.

With millions of people playing Dota2 and therefore acting irresponsible against the environment, Dota2 might be the biggest factor for Global Warming known.

All of this might sound like an arbitrary thesis to the ordinary peasants, but there is actually plenty of proof:

1. Knowing dota2’s hidden impulses: the principle of the game actually is to disturb the naturall equilibrium of nature, which is represented by the creeps of both sides. This balanced world has to be tilt over to one side to conquer the world. This goal can be reached by hunting peacefull neutral creeps in the woods as it gives good bounty to the murderer. Killing the hugest among all creeps called Roshan provides especially usefull loot. The more often you kill the better the loot will get. Morally good willing teams don’t purchase couriers, who work as slaves to carry heavy loads all game long over the map, risking their lives. They are hunted by the enemies as killing those poor chickens grants a big advantage.
2. As if it wasn’t obvious enough there are plenty of heroes which actively promote the destruction of nature. The list seems endless: Timbersaw (A guy who fantasizes about aggressive trees and wears a chainsaw suit…), Axe (the name speaks for itself), Troll Warlord, Beastmaster, Wisp all have active abilities to cut enough trees with one swing to destroy a whole forest within seconds. There are also heroes who want to destroy nature just because they can: Batrider(sprays oil and then lights it up), Lina Inverse and Invoker all enjoy burning down beautifull landscapes and killing peacefull creatures. Furthermore there are several heroes like Alchemist, Venomancer and Gyrocopter, who not only spray poisenous liquids in green areas, but the last of which even uses nuclear weapons. Ridiculously enough these creatures are called “Heroes”.
3. Purchasing items with the gold you “earned” gives you advantages. Such items are for example the “Quelling blade”, which enables you to endlessly cut down forest. If a “hero” gets richer he will be able to afford bigger axes like Battlefurry and Ogre Club and destroy even faster. Another alarming item is the so called Radiance. Its radiation kills everything around it in a big area within a short amount of time. In the latest Patch 6.79 this item was made even stronger.
4. Pro Players names:
   • SexyBamboo: Promotes the usages of bamboo and therefore the destruction of bamboo forests
   • iceiceice: In my oppinion he wants to make fun of global warming. In his name he is basicially saying how much ice still is in the world (three times!) and that we don’t have to fear the melting of glaciers
   • N0tail : Do I have to explain the cruelity in his name?!
5. Actually the 10th player in the matchmakingqueue, who makes you wait does not exist. The idea behind this is just to keep up your hate against the world and nature. I know about 1000 other things, but I dont have the time to write everything down right here.

White mushrooms cultivated by LOL followers

However there might be hope. Some forward-thinking american democrats have started an anti-anti-global-warming campaing some years before: under the codename LOL (Lock-Of-Lumbering) officially known as League of Legens the try to promote naturall diversity and the beauty of untouched realms.

As a counterpart to the rather ironic wording “Heroes”, they call their characters “champions”, which comes from the german word “Champignon” (White Mushroom). This is how they express their love to the natures creatures. Therefore supporters of LOL in many cases have small white mushrooms with them or at least a mushroom soup to signal other followers their identity without reveiling it to the public.

  In the end it is up to you to make a difference. Choose a side and fight for the right thing. The world needs you.